Live at Five: The Meme
Okay, here's the deal: 5 stories/things about me, 4 true, 1 false. Guess the false. I dare you.
UPDATE: The truth is out there and revealed after the fold. I will be contacting the winners shortly!
1) My best friend, Ted, and I, around the age of twelve, traveled into Manhattan from Queens to purchase tickets to see the band Squeeze at Madison Square Garden. While on line we were approached by a man who promised us better tickets without having to wait on the humongous line. We said, cool, and the man proceeded to take us to the Macy's employee entrance about a block away from the Garden. Ted went with the man, our meager savings in hand. I waited at the door. A few minutes later the man returned alone and said Ted needed more money. I handed the man the rest of my cash (incredible, I know) and the man headed back inside. About ten more minutes passed and Ted came back very much alone and without any tickets. Long story short, we wuz robbed and seriously embarrassed. TRUE! We were young, we were dumb, that's for sure.
2) I interviewed with Soon-Yi to become Woody Allen's weekend driver. It was my second interview (the first was with Woody's assistant) so I was expecting the Wood-man himself, but much to my surprise it was Soon-Yi at the office door. She was so sweet. We talked about my writing and about school, but nothing about my driving. I didn't get the job (it seems Woody hates change), but I got a Soon-Yi story out of it, so not bad. TRUE! It was quite a surprise meeting Soon-Yi and like I said she was really great.
3) One boring summer when I was around ten I got mixed up with a slightly, let's say adventurous, kid in the neighborhood. Well, this kid and I broke into his neighbor's house through an open basement window. After stealing, and consuming, a few beers from the basement fridge we headed upstairs making believe were detectives hunting down the bad guys. At one point "crazy kid" throws open a bedroom door only to find the lady of the house cowering on the far side of the bed with a pistol in hand. Next thing we know, she starts shooting. I have never ran faster in my life. The police never questioned me about the break-in and the shooting (I don't think anyone realized I was friends with this kid), but to this day I feel guilty for scaring the shit out of this poor lady. [And I blame Ted for this story seeing as how he used to leave me alone in the city during the summers while he went off to camp.]FALSE! Yup, this is it. All false and stolen from a short story I wrote many years ago. Congrats to Shakes, Jack, and Mark for getting it right.
4) I wrote a novel. I had a signed contract with a reputable literary agency (The Lazear Agency). Then the deal fell through after I couldn't pull off the re-writes. I was almost famous. TRUE! Lazear put me under contract to keep me as their own, then when I couldn't pull off what they wanted for the re-writes they let me go. Oh well.
5) TRUE! And deleted for my own safety.
Figure out the falsehood and you win a prize! And the tagging continues for the next fab five: Stickings, Fixer, X, Wayne, and Mark.
UPDATE: There really is a prize. Any book, under 35 bucks, from Simon Says dot com. Be prepared to send me a shipping address. Offer