Over There

Over there, over there,
Send the word, send the word over there -
That the Yanks are coming,
The Yanks are coming,
The drums rum-tumming
Everywhere.
So prepare, say a prayer,
Send the word, send the word to beware.
We'll be over, we're coming over,
And we won't come back till it's over
Over there.

Well, don't we wish. According to the Moonie Times, Abu Musab Zarqawi has finally caught on to his lack of welcome in Iraq. Seems he's hightailing it out of there for places unknown.

Al Qaeda in Iraq and its presumed leader, Abu Musab Zarqawi, have conceded strategic defeat and are on their way out of the country, a top U.S. military official contended yesterday.

Lt. General John Vines, commander of the 18th Airborne Corps delivers the news of Zarqawi's humiliation:

"I believe Zarqawi discredited himself with the Iraqi people because of his willingness to slaughter Iraqi people," he said.

That is as opposed to our coalition forces who have clearly won the hearts and minds of the Iraqis while diminishing their security, resources, national treasures, and services. It should be noted that Gen. Vines had trouble delivering that message with all the roses being thrown at him by grateful Iraqis.

As an aside, if there's anybody in Iraq actually still looking for this guy, he apparently only has one leg, although that may be another Bushco/CIA lie. But we're not sure, so if you see a guy hopping over the border, feel free to stop him.

So, Zarqawi has unravelled his turban and used it as a white flag as our forces apparently give him a free pass out of Iraq. I imagine they are hoping he heads to Iran to continue the establishment phase of his new caliphate, although it's not exactly clear to me why they would want that given all the other concerns with Iran getting nukes in the next 16 or so days. Wouldn't the U.S. intelligence think he would he want to find a place with less strife to get a new start?

Did I mention he may only have one leg? Or not - the intel is kinda sketchy. But I'm sure we'll know him when we capture him.

I imagine we're missing the bigger picture. Now that Zarqawi's influence cover has been blown, he's probably just tucking his tail between his legs and running for the hills in shame. He surely doesn't want to face Mr. & Mrs. Joe BlowIraq and explain that he's not half the terrorist he used to be. That would be a wicked embarrassment. Plus, have you seen the car he drives?

This all reminds me of Sulley from Monsters, Inc. Except for the definitive two legs and other clear identification features.

Fortunately we have several factors in our favor. First, Righter Blogistan has never set out a meme that it's better to fight him over there than over here, so the thought that shit's wide open over here certainly has never occurred to him. (And if they had, would it be in violation of National Security secrets?) Also, we have spent lots of effort, man-hours, and money securing our ports and borders so even if the previous thought did occur to him, we would still have nothing to worry... Uh, nevermind. Go stock up on duct tape.

P.S. If any of you nice soldier-guys see somebody with one leg fleeing the country, please ignore Rummy's orders and detain him anyways. We here in the U.S. would be a might appeciative. Thanks!