I'm Prepared to Duel Creature...

...for the hand of Helen Thomas in marriage because Helen used Scott McClellan again today; used him like a baby uses a disposable, moon-faced diaper. Here's how their tête-à-tête wrapped up:

SCOTT McCLELLAN: I told you where our focus is, and I told you --

QUESTION [Helen Thomas]: I know where your focus is.

SCOTT McCLELLAN: -- that no President takes options off the table. But our focus is on finding a diplomatic solution.

QUESTION: But why would you even attack Iran?

SCOTT McCLELLAN: How many more times I can tell you I'm not going to engage in all that wild speculation, Helen.

QUESTION: Exactly when does it start? (Laughter.)

SCOTT McCLELLAN: We've said multiple times -- we've said multiple times that Iran is not Iraq.

Iran is not Iraq... What exactly does that mean?

• We will be told nothing but the truth in the run up to war? Every fact will be triple-checked and waterproof?
  
• We will have strong international support for the war?
  
• King George will not land on an aircraft carrier bearing a banner with the words Mission Accomplished until the mission is actually accomplished?
• All the problems with the war won't be blamed on the "liberal" media?
  
• Tens of thousands of innocent Iranians won't become collateral damage?
• Thousands of Coalition forces won't needlessly die in a war to make Cheney, Rummy, & Hadley happy?
  
• We won't have to pay a PR firm to plant fake stories with positive spin in Iranian newspapers?
• We won't leave depots unguarded to provide insurgents with hundreds of tons of ammo to be used against us?
  
• We won't spend another $250-plus billion and somehow cut taxes?
• The NYTimes won't delay a potentially explosive article that would certainly impact an election until after the election at the request of the White House?
  
• Soldiers won't return from Iran and run for Congress as Democrats?
• Iranian civilians will have their country reconstructed and have better services than before the invasion?
• Our soldiers won't take over the most notorious prison in Iran and then use it as their own toture chamber?
• We will honor the Geneva Convention?
• We'll make fewer than thousands of 'figurative' mistakes? Or at least we'll learn from our mistakes?
• This time we will be greeted as liberators?
• Or maybe we'll finally focus on who was responsible for 9-11?

Somehow I fail to see any of the above actually happening... I think when he said "Iran is not Iraq," Scott just meant it's further west.