Morning Fun with the Weekly World News

Here at The State we believe in responsible journalism. So when this bit of news crossed our desk we knew we could not sit on it. Mass hysteria be damned, sit back, relax, and grab an oar. It's time for Morning Fun, right now, with the Weekly World News.

POWERFUL EARTHQUAKE WILL LEAVE CALIFORNIA STANDING BUT PLUNGE THE REST OF THE COUNTRY INTO THE OCEAN, EXPERT SAY
By BARRY DUTTER
A DEVASTATING earthquake will strike California in the next five to ten years -- with a force so powerful it will plunge the rest of the country into the sea, and leave the Golden State intact, experts say.

"For years, people have been saying California will someday fall into the ocean," seismologist Ron Felgar said. "Turns out California will actually be the safest place to be when the big one hits."
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"The damage to the other states will be catastrophic," Felgar said. "Tidal waves will wash around California and swamp the rest of the country. Most of the survivors from the sunken states will head to California, resulting in massive overcrowding.

"If people thought the traffic in L.A. was bad before," he said, "it's about to get a whole lot worse."

Serious Stuff, later.